Well I tried the experiment. For about 1 month. I visualized my new SB800 flash in my hands I saw myself taking pictures with it and I believed it was just a matter of time before it landed in my hands for real. And 1 month later it did!!! :-) There were times when I started to give up but then I turned it around and told myself the universe would bring it to me when it was ready and sure enough it did. Here's one of the first bird shots with the new flash. Now to try this universal law on bigger things in my life like like my carreer. I've got to get a clear picture of who I want to be and then when I have that just keep visualizing it and knowing that it will happen. Currently I'm visualizing my photos in/ on the Birds & Blooms magazine. I'll report back when that happens. It's alot more fun to focus on what can happen then thinking that things can't happen! Happy thinking everyone! :-)Think Positive! Happy thoughts make happy things happen!

Wildflower

I seem to have a love hate relationship with my job. Right now I'm in the hate mode. Working in customer service is not my dream job. I'm not a happy camper today, perhaps writing will help to get this out. I'm beyond busy and then my team leader says I need to start coming in earlier AND still get overtime grrrrr. I wish I had a normal job where I went in at a regular time, worked closer to home. After getting home at 11:00 last night I had to get up at 7:00 today and go in early. I'm so burnt out and it's only Weds!!! From the moment I get to work and the work seems to fly at me from left and right, I barely have time to go to the bathroom. I feel like I'm stuck there. My husband's retirement is just enough to pay the mortgage and I pay all the rest of the bills.  I can't make what I make at my job per hour, closer to home because I live in the country near a pretty low income town. I've worked where I work for 11 years and I've only gotten 3 raises and my wages haven't gone up with the rising prices of gas and food. We could sell our house and move into our little motorhome but I love this house and our 22 acres in the woods on the mountain with a view to die for. I'm always dreaming about how I can escape my job. Sometimes I feel like my job is the Shawshank redemption (my prison) and I'm trying desparately to find a rock hammer to chisel my way out. My dream is to keep this house and land and do something I love that also brings in money. My possible rock hammers in my mind are photography (although that hasn't panned out so well so far :-( , masssage therapy but I work so I dont have time and I also dont have the money for massage school to get certified. I keep finding all these road blocks. :-( Am I really doing what i'm supposed to do in my life in direct mail? Is this really my destiny? I like that the mailings that are my accounts are things like World Vision (helping bring medince, food & clothing to poor people in 3rd world countries) and operaton Smile, helping children with facial deformities to get oparations so they can live like normal children and not be teased about the way they look but the stress, the deadlines, the office politics of where I work make me want to walk out the door and never come back. I just feel so much more like i'm in my element when I'm giving someone a massage and sending healing energy or when I have a camera in my hands then when I'm burried in paperwork and running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Surely there must be a way to do something different i.e. make money AND still keep our house and land. Maybe I should try selling my prints on ebay. Maybe I just need to not give up. Today my brain says "I can't" "I'm stuck", this is my lot in life,  "I hate my job", "nobody understands"etc. Ok so my brain is in the negative rut I guess. I need to get it out  of this rut somehow and turn it around. So what is the oposite of my thoughts? Maybe I need to listen to Obama, "yes I can".  Ok so some positive thoughts to replace the negatives are: "I am a talented gifted photographer and my photos are in demand and bring in income", "I will be published in Birds & Blooms Magazine", "my job is helping other people in need", "the universe brings me all the money I need", "I have time and energy for healing others", "I am up for the challenges at work and find solutions", "I do all that I can and the rest is up to the Universe". Ok maybe now I need to get my butt on the Yoga matt and chill out to make this a good day. Things will change and things will get better. I can't control everything but I can let go and let the universe take care of me. :-) Whew! I feel better already after getting all of the clutter out of my brain today ;-)

Wildflower

My niece got me a copy of the DVD "The Secret" for Christmas. I popped it into my laptop and watched it in the course of a few days watching it chapter by chapter as time would allow. I discovered that what it was about was all the things that I have been taught over the years. All the principles in the movie were not new to me but it sure was good timing when I got this! I needed a gentle reminder from the Universe about going with the flow instead of swimming upstream against the rushing river of life and believing instead of doubting, about trusting the Universe. One of the principles is: The Universe doesn't hear positives and negatives but the more you think a thought the more you enforce it. For example if you think "I don't want to be poor" or "I don't want to be so emotional" etc. the Universe hears "poor" & "emotional" and that is what you get! Maybe that's why people with alot of drama in their life attract more drama. It's like a rut that they are stuck in but all they need to do is change their thinking to change their life. It's important to believe. If things don't go exactly as we plan, dont give up, return to postive thinking. Every time you have a negative thought, replace it with the postive version of that. For example "I don't want to be poor" could be replaced with "I attract abunance in my life", or "the Universe provides me with what I need". In my life I've noticed that when I worry about money that is when my money supply is less, but when I trust in the Universe, I have all I need. So I'm trying an experiment. I realy want an SB800 flash for my Nikon camera. This will allow me to take even better bird photos & butterfly photos and even more creative landscapes. It's a tool that will help me to take my photography to the next level. I have $180 to spend but the flash goes for around $300. At first I tried watching items on Ebay but no results in my price range. Another concept the movie talked about was visualization. So I've been visualizing holding the new flash in my hand. I did this for a week or so. Then a friend who I had done some portratis for (for free) wrote this last weekend and said she wanted a disk of all the pictures and she wanted to pay me for this! I told her to pay me what she felt was fair. I"m sending the disk off today and she's going to send me a check. She hasn't told me the amount but I have a feeling that it's going to be enough to get that flash that I've been visualizing. :-) I'll report back when the flash lands in my hand, or sooner if I have something esle to write about ;-)


Wildflower

I live in a pretty Rural area of Virginia and don't have the oppurtunity to practice healing on others much and when I do it's on friends who aren't in an emercency need of healing energy. Many friends tell me that it has helped their ache or pain to diminish or make it go away completely. But two weeks ago it was really put to the test. when my friends went skipping down the stairs together. They are best friends and were racing down the stairs like sisters challenging each other smiling and lauging all the way, but then her friend and I heard it....there was this awful crack sound which we were sure was a broken bone. The mood quickly changed. Her friend supported her on the first landing of stairs as she began to experience extreme pain! We all went into "what do we do now mode?" call an ambulance or drive her to the ER.?Her friend has some experience with anatomy and muscle/ bone structure since she just graduated from Massage Theraphy school so she knew what to do on the medical end of things. She had us run for some magazines and some tape and a towel to make a support  to wrap around her injured ankle. But she was in so much pain that she was turning very pail and feeling like she was going to be ill at any moment. That's when my intuition said "Use wat you've learned about healing now!!!" and I did. I laid one hand on her heart and the other on her belly. I asked the universe and the angels that I was told would assist me when I was trained in Igili to use me as a clear open and protected chanel of healing light and energy and I asked them to send the energy that was needed for this person. I stilled my mind and just let it flow through me and I could feel it flowing pretty strongly. And to my amazment it really helped her! It lessened her pain to a much more mangable level. Her friend asked for another magazine for the suport or something and when I went to release my hands from her to get te magazine she grabbed my hands and said " no don't stop it's really helping" so I continued. She's fine now and actually has an injured tendon not a break which is a relief. I am thankful that i had the oporunity to be of assistance in a pretty intense sutuation :-). I had one of those rare moments where I felt like "this is what I'm supposed to be doing and I am of great use and help to the situation". :-) Thank you universe for this lesson in healing! :-)

 

I read a book a while ago called the Celestine Vision; it was written by the same author that wrote the Celestine Prophecy. The one part that really stuck in my mind from this book was where he was talking about synchronicity. He talked about how we should pay close attention to the things that happen to us in our daily lives.  There are always signs and when we pay attention to them they can guide us on our path. Recently that has really been ringing true for me. I decided to not give up on my photography despite the fact that my website wasn't generating any sales. Then the universe or whatever you believe it to be God, Buddha etc. kept guiding me in directions.

When I'd have doubts about my photography suddenly someone would tell me how beautiful they thought my photos were and that I should pursue getting published in magazines.

Another sign was when my husband and I decided to go for a walk in a part of town that we hadn't been to before and we discovered this antique shop that pulled us in.  Attached to the same building was a new outdoor store that we were also drawn into. I started up a conversation with the owner and found out that he was going to add a cafe and would quite possibly need some nature photos to hang in the cafe, so here I am in an outdoor store where people love nature and I do nature photography and he was willing to look at my photos and possibly hang some in his cafe in the outdoor store when he gets that going! I gave him my card so we'll see what pans out from that.

And then I found the Internet taking me to a book called "The photographers market". I had no idea that such a book even existed but it listed all kinds of magazines and publications and their photo editor's contact info. :-) So I bought the book from Amazon and received it really quickly and I think this book has allot of leads for me, it's really going to be a great tool! But as I was paging through the book I noticed that about 50 pages were missing from the book. They weren't really a section that I needed for my type of photography but nonetheless I had paid for the book so I wrote to the Amazon seller and told them the problem and then they credited my account. So not only did the universe lead me to this book BUT it gave it to me for free too!! If that's not a sign I don't know what is! J

And then recently I had put out into the universe that I wanted to make some new girl friends and also that I had wanted to work on someone again with massage and energy healing. I live in a small rural community so it's not always easy to find like minded people here who are open to massage or Reiki type energy healing.  And then last weekend these two wonderful women came into my life. One just happened to be a massage therapy student who was more than happy to receive a massage and she gave an amazing massage too!  Double bonus! And they both were sooo easy to talk to. I feel like I've known them both before for sure! The weekend was so much fun that it went frighteningly fast! There just weren' The other is this wonderful woman with this spirit of adventure who's sense of fun and adventure just can't help but rub off on you. She was having some pain in her lower back so I got to work on her with some healing energy which made the pain disappear J So I asked the universe for girl friends and for someone to massage and share healing energy with and I got it and then some! The universe provides!

I just need to remember to trust in the universe. Sometimes when I'm stuck and it seems that things aren't going "my way" I need to remember to trust that if things aren't going as "I think they should" then maybe that is just what the doctor ordered. I need to remember that it's OK and that if it isn't happening in the time frame I want it to or how I want it too then maybe there's a good reason. I need to remember to "go with the flow" not to fight against the current. Things seem to turn out much better without struggle. ;-) Ok well that's my ramble for today.

Wildflower769

How do we know when we are talking from the heart or talking from the ego. The Ego always has to be right, that's just the way it is, it always has to protect itself from being wrong. The heart speaks out of giving and sharing instead of self preservation.

I read an article in Yoga Journal a while back that I think I need to remember and try to apply it more to my daily life...it was about being mindful of what we say. It suggested that before we say the first things that pops into our head (which for me seems to be my ego piping in alot of the time) that we ask this question: "Is what I'm about to say something that serves the greater good?" If the answer is no then maybe it's not something that needs to be said. Another thing to ask might be "what purpose does this serve?".  If what is going to come out of your mouth is to defend the ego and "be right" then it probably isn't the best thing to say. If it's someting that puts another person down and points out their short comings as a way to make their own ego look better even if it's in response to someone else pointing out things that are "wrong" about you, it still isn't the best thing to say. I've found that our natural reaction to when we think we are being hurt by another is to hurt them back. Revenge is not sweet, it just feeds the fire of the ego. When two people are right in their own mind but are filled with anger and hurt did it really solve the problem or make things better or did it actually make them worse?

A better alternative would be to try to say more things based on love. Complimenting our loved ones and friends on a talent, pointing out the things that they do that we appreciate, etc.  Even if we're talking about other people to a friend, it's not necessary to say "so and so was a real jerk and did this and that..." what purpose does that really serve other than to say " I'm not a jerk and they are". That is the ego talking for sure!! Sometimes we talk just to talk and assure ourselves that we are ok.

Im not saying that we should just let other people walk all over us either BUT if we have an issue in one of our relationships we need to try and find a delicate kind way to express our needs rather than a defensive "you didn't do so and so or you never do this!" Not only does that hurt the other person but it causes the fire of the egos to be stoked and then "oh yeah? Well you didn't do so and so!"  then comes flying right back at you! It's like what you said just got deflected off of their invisible force sheild and you got to feel the pain that you just inflicted! That certainly doesn't make us feel good!

My Dad helped me to reslove a conflict recently with two words "I'm sorry". Not I'm sorry followed by an escuse " I'm sorry but I did it because...." but just two geniunely said words "I'm sorry". The Ego tries to get it's foot in the door at any oportunity it can get! Beware of giving apologies with strings attached becaus just maybe they aren't fully genuine apolgies.

Now the trick...to put this into action, to remember to be mindful of what we say. Even if we fall from time to time, if we start by thinking about what we just said and question it after the fact, just that awareness will head us in the right direction of get ting into the new  mindset of being mindful of everything we say and as we start to get in the habit, even being mindful BEFORE we say it.  Sometimes silence truly is golden.

That's my ramble for the day. ;-)

Wildflower

I've never written a blog before but its the first of the year and it's time to do something new
:-). Here are some of the things rattling around in my head,  I'm 37 years old but still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. No scratch that I don't want to grow up Lol. I really admire children and they way they view the world so maybe I should make it my goal to be more like a child and live in the moment. Children don't think gosh I wish I was here or I wish I was there they just seem to make the most of the world they are in an play :-) Well maybe that's not entirely true either Lol  because children do wish it was recess when they are locked in a school room being taught something that isn't interesting to them.

I do have goals, maybe I've changed my thinking about calling them dreams and now they are more goals. Like I do have the goal of using my photos in publications to help the environment. And if/when I sell some photos from my website:

http://www.earthpulsenaturephotography.com

I plan on donating a portion of the profits to the Nature Conservancy. This dream/goal at the moment seems more attainable than my other dreams. The others are still dreams at this point because I haven't convinced myself that there is a way to do all of the things I enjoy for income and keep my relationship together and stay on top of things financially.

I want to make a difference in many ways but sometimes my lack of confidence strikes that down and says that would never work, you could never make a living doing that! And then there is another little voice that says why not?

The things I am good at are photography, working with children, massage & healing but these things haven't really manifested into something yet. Or maybe they have and they just aren't what I thought they should be. I do know that I've had a positive affect on the children I've been around when I was a nanny, when I babysat and when I worked at a day care center and of course to my nieces but maybe I expected myself to do this more regularly and make a living at it. I know the massage & energy work Ive done on friends now and then has helped them to heal on some level. Once I was even able to use the energy flowing through me to help stop a friends asthma attack.

I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher when I was younger but I didn't make it past the math class required in college and then decided that falling in love was more important than that anyways so I ran off to California to be a nanny and to find someone to fall in love with me. Almost found the love part but he didn't love me so I bounced back to Oregon and then I bounced back to California and joined an enviornmental walk  (Global Walk for a Livable World)  where I met my best friend. The walk went from Santa Monica to New York but we burnt out in New Mexico and left the walk behind us there. Then back to Oregon for a little while.

I then went back to California for a 4 month nanny job and then went back to Oregon where I finally did meet my true love. We now live in Virginia and have a beautiful house with a beautiful view and almost 22 acres but I still keep having this nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be doing someting other than just going to work everyday and coming home and then going to work and on and on. I feel like I'm supposed to do more. More to help people and children and of course our Mother Earth.

Being a massage therapist or Yoga instructor or Kindergarden teacher sounds like it would be an amazingly rewarding job but the finances to get there seem out of reach. Not to mention the time involved to get certified and balance all that with going to work so we can still pay the bills and keep our home and land that we so dearly love.

So for now I'm going to focus on using my photos to do good. I believe in destiny and "if it's meant to be" but I also believe that you can't just sit on your #!@# either and expect it all just to land in your lap.

Being here in zaadz feels like a good place to be though. It feels good to be writing again and getting my thoughts out. And sharing my photos even if they aren't being used by environmental publications (yet). Even if I haven't sold any (yet).  Maybe just seeing the beauty of nature in a photo can inspire others to feel good inside. It does make me feel really happy when I see the joy in someones face when they view one of my photos and are struck by something in nature that they wouldn't have seen if they didn't see it in my photo.

Well that's my first ramble for 2007. I'll try to post more of my thoughts on my journey when I can.